MUSINGS FROM THE MIND OF AMANDA

I guess as you get older you start thinking about when you were a kid…the storms tonight have me thinking about stormy nights when I was little.

We lived in a beat up old trailer…it was bad enough in good weather. I think if a tornado had ever actually hit it, it would’ve just disintegrated. When we had tornado warnings, Daddy would wake us up, tell us to put on our shoes, and then sit us down in the living room. He’d always stand at the front door, watching and listening. I’d get my backpack and put my prized possessions in them – usually my favorite stuffed animals and a book I liked, or my collection of Weekly Readers. Then, I’d sit and wait. We’d watch tv, and listen for the weather alerts, and search the little words scrolling at the bottom until we saw our county name.

One night, there were horrible storms and my Granny Loving was there. She was my great grandmother, and got around pretty good for her age…but if there were storms, we knew we’d have to go to the creek bed down the hill from the house. Daddy said that was the safest place – lowest elevation, etc, so that was that. I worried about Granny. How would she make it down the hill? And Daddy said, “I’ll carry her.” And I knew she’d be ok.

I don’t remember being scared when these storms hit. Daddy was there and he said we’d be ok, and that’s all there was to it. He had three little girls, a wife, and a very old great grandma on his hands, but I never doubted that Daddy could keep us safe even if there was a tornado. That was the power of Daddy.

We’re coming on the nineteenth anniversary of his passing, and now, as an adult and a parent, I know Daddy was scared. I know he didn’t have all the answers. And I know there must’ve been times he pretended he did so we wouldn’t worry. I’ve been there myself. And I remember he told me once, “I don’t know how to be a parent…I just did the best I could and hoped it was enough.”

I hope he knows that it was.