MUSINGS FROM THE MIND OF AMANDA

Several months ago, I heard about the Spoon Theory. It basically uses spoons as a metaphor for personal energy, particularly in reference to people with illnesses, disabilities or mental health challengers. A person with no issues might have unlimited spoons, but someone with depression might have a very limited number. For example, you might start Monday with 18 spoons. Work takes 12. Cooking dinner takes three. That means you three spoons left…but what if helping with a child’s homework takes all three? That’s all you have to give for the day. You have to rest or recharge to build up your spoons for the next activity.

I don’t know that I have any of these issues, but I feel like I do have a limited number of spoons sometimes. I’m not very social, and I like my time alone to read or play games or just…sit. And Christmas is a very busy time. I’ve had some extra activity the last five or six days, and it’s really decreased my spoon count. I didn’t put up our huge tree – I ordered a smaller one and still didn’t finish it till last night. But it’s done.

I didn’t put out any of my usual inside decorations. My dog has some kind of anxiety and will eat things she shouldn’t. Finding one of my snowmen chewed up in a heap would take DAYS worth of spoons. So I just didn’t put them out. Same with presents. They’re here – but if I wrap them and the dog sees them, they might eat the presents. Then I’m out the money for the present, the time for the wrapping, time and money if it hurts the dog…and I don’t know if it’s worth it. So, presents aren’t wrapped.

We’re not doing a big family Christmas. Cary’s family is dealing with some illness, and we already did my family’s. Plus with the crazy EMS work schedules, Cary works Christmas Eve, and our son works Christmas Day and the next day. So, I’ll drop by mom’s for lunch on Christmas Day and we’ll do a big celebration with my adopted family on Saturday. It’s different, and not “normal” but I don’t see a way around it, and I’m not spending any more spoons trying.

I went shopping last night. I don’t usually use drive throughs for prescriptions, because it wastes gas and usually takes longer. But last night I did. I sat in line in my giant metal cocoon, safe from the flu germs and the crazy people and the goofy Christmas music, and you know what? I think I might’ve gained a spoon from it.

My point is, we all have struggles at Christmas. We know that’s not what it’s about, not the presents or the food or the decorations. But we have this incredible pressure to make the perfect Hallmark Christmas, and life just isn’t like that. So, we worry or fret or plan or cry because it’s not right…even when it’s right for us. Use your spoons wisely. Do what works for you. Schedule Christmas for July. Use the drive through. Don’t wrap the presents. Protect your spoons, and remember the real reason for Christmas.

I’m open to suggestions…how do YOU protect your silverware drawer?