MUSINGS FROM THE MIND OF AMANDA

I love words. I love learning new ones, and new phrases. What I do not love is hearing the same one eleventy four times in one sentence.

One of my “guilty pleasures” is crappy reality tv. The ones where the guy is trying to pick from 41 girls who all just looooove him, or the ones where the couple goes to an island where they’re going to be mobbed by so many attractive “singles” because they want to make sure their relationship is for real. Gag. More about my thoughts on that, maybe later.

Here’s the thing. These people only know a few words and they try to pad their word count by repeating “like.” Here’s a typical reality show sentence: So, like you know I’ve been like so careful to like not fall in love on this like journey, but like he’s so cute, like I’m all in my feelings and he’s like making me feel like some type of way.”

I feel dirty just typing that.

Saying “like” 800 times does not make you seem smart or thoughtful. It makes it sound like the silicone in your boobicles has invaded your brain.

Another one is “journey.” Everybody’s on a journey. A weight loss journey. A journey to find love. A journey to find themselves. A journey into the past. Just stop it. Say what you’re doing. You’re looking for a spouse, you’re on a diet, you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up and you’re checking your ancestry. Stop trying to sound trendy.

Another is “feel some type of way.” Well, duh. Of course you feel some type of way. If you have a pulse, you feel some type of way. Get over yourself.

And while I’m ranting, I hate the word “hubby.” I refuse to call mine a “hubby.” He’s a spouse, he’s a husband, he’s an annoyance sometimes, but mostly he’s just awesome. I also hate “wifey” for the same reason. It sounds dumb.

How about “literally?” It literally made me die. I literally just couldn’t breathe. He’s literally a demon. No, no…you mean figuratively. If you literally died, we wouldn’t be having to listen to you say this. Likewise if you couldn’t breathe, and if he’s a demon, we’d all be smelling brimstone by now. Literally.

I’m sure there are other things that make me crazy (literally!!) but I’m ranted out for now. Thanks for riding along!